2011-08-30
♥ Lost cause
So I've mentioned that Hurricane Irene was coming towards us in NYC, right? Well, good news and bad news. Good news is the hurricane didn't do much damage and it wasn't as big of a deal as the mayor and everyone else was making it out to be. The bad news is that the hurricane wasn't as big of a deal as everyone was making it out to be. So anti-climatic. I mean, I'm glad there weren't any big damages but I was pretty pumped up about it. I expected to wake to the hurricane's violent winds but I didn't and slept pretty peacefully. But I did see the damages Irene did to other states and they were pretty horrible. A few people died too. RIP to them.
I'm still waiting for MSK to call. They haven't called and they should have since it's been about a week now. I'm really hoping that it's not because the hr guy made a mistake...again.
READ MORE...--->
So right now, I'm thinking about giving up on Leyda. This is me forcing myself to though, which I said that I wouldn't do because it ends up being even harder but at this rate, I'm going to like him more and be in some depressed hell again. This almost happened yesterday night and I don't want to go there again.
Fei told me that I should change something about myself to make him like me but what difference does it make? Won't I hate myself even more for changing for a guy? If he doesn't like me the way I am right now, he's not going to like me no matter what I change into. He's pretty into his girl and I don't think he's going to fall for another girl while he's still with his girl. He's just not that type. He's very much in love or in like with her and I have no chance.
Of course I didn't have a chance earlier on anyway. Because of this, my desire to start drinking again is more stronger now. Then again, it may be because of Leyda. He was talking about how he wants to get drunk this weekend because he's never been drunk. That brought up the wonderful memories of my drunk days (yeah, I mean wonderful). A guy who likes to drink and wants to get drunk is my type of guy. It made me like him even more. Horrible.
I know that if I stopped talking to him on AIM or missed any events where he's going to, then I'll end up missing him even more. That's why I'm not going down that path.
I really need to decide where and when my celebration lunch/dinner is going to happen. I really should look into it. That's all for now. I feel bad that every time I do an entry, there's always a mention of my complicated love life.
I'm still waiting for MSK to call. They haven't called and they should have since it's been about a week now. I'm really hoping that it's not because the hr guy made a mistake...again.
READ MORE...--->
So right now, I'm thinking about giving up on Leyda. This is me forcing myself to though, which I said that I wouldn't do because it ends up being even harder but at this rate, I'm going to like him more and be in some depressed hell again. This almost happened yesterday night and I don't want to go there again.
Fei told me that I should change something about myself to make him like me but what difference does it make? Won't I hate myself even more for changing for a guy? If he doesn't like me the way I am right now, he's not going to like me no matter what I change into. He's pretty into his girl and I don't think he's going to fall for another girl while he's still with his girl. He's just not that type. He's very much in love or in like with her and I have no chance.
Of course I didn't have a chance earlier on anyway. Because of this, my desire to start drinking again is more stronger now. Then again, it may be because of Leyda. He was talking about how he wants to get drunk this weekend because he's never been drunk. That brought up the wonderful memories of my drunk days (yeah, I mean wonderful). A guy who likes to drink and wants to get drunk is my type of guy. It made me like him even more. Horrible.
I know that if I stopped talking to him on AIM or missed any events where he's going to, then I'll end up missing him even more. That's why I'm not going down that path.
I really need to decide where and when my celebration lunch/dinner is going to happen. I really should look into it. That's all for now. I feel bad that every time I do an entry, there's always a mention of my complicated love life.
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