2012-02-14
♥ Sweetness...
Is what today's supposed to be about because it's V-day or Valentine's Day. Why this so-called holiday was created, I don't know. It really serves no purpose. Plus, we don't get the day off from work. That's not my definition of a holiday. Hmph!
So I decided to not do a vlog for this entry. Since nothing much has been happening, I decided to just type out the entry instead. It's probably a bad idea since my nail polish is drying. =P But whatever.
To start off, I want to talk about this guy that works at one of the companies at our floor. His name is Nat (short for Nathaniel). I don't know how old he is but apparently his bday was some day this week. I met him when I just started working for MSK; it was either that week or the week after. As you know, I don't like talking to people and therefore, I don't like initiating conversations. I'm also bad at talking to strangers because my answers tend to be short and it makes it harder for the person to continue the conversation. So of course it was him who initiated the conversation and this is one thing I really hate about myself; I can't get the answers right because I'm always too nervous. -.-" So our first conversation ended rather unsatisfactory for me and the next couple of convos we've had were also rocky. But overall, he seemed to not have a bad impression of me or else he would ignore me right? However, we don't seem to bump into each other that much. I always had this slight fear of bumping into him because I'm afraid I would give stupid answers again. It wasn't that I had a crush on him or anything; my brain just don't function well around strangers. Actually, it may just not function well at all period.
Anyway, last week when I was coming into work, he and I happened to be on the same elevator and we couldn't talk much because there were other people around but when we got off the elevator, we were able to chat a bit like where I lived and where he lived, you know safe topics. After that, we just happened to bump into each other a bit. Since our conversation, I've been...hmm...how to say this? Desiring? Wanting to see him more? Anticipating our next meeting? Of all days to not bump into each other, today just happened to be that day. I mean, I saw him but just for a few seconds and they were at times that made it inconvenient to talk.
Sigh...just when I thought I got over my guy-crushing phase. I don't even know how old that guy is or if he has a gf. Actually, does any of that matter? It's not like he finds me attractive anyway. I mean, if he was born some day this week, that means he's an Aquarius. Seeing as how I've dated 2 Aquariuses in the past, I know that they are pretty social people. Actually, anyone else besides me would be social people. But that's not the point. So maybe he talked to me because he's a social person. He's just being nice and making convos. The problems that I had with Taehwan and Roger were mostly because I was a jealous *cough*bitch*cough*. =_=" So I guess it has nothing to do with him being social. It's me. But I really do hope this past year or so really have changed me for the better. I don't want to go into another relationship being insanely jealous for nothing. I'm not saying that I don't have the confidence to be a better person because I do think I am in a better place right now. But since I haven't been in a relationship since Roger, I don't know how I am when in a relationship. I don't know if I can even say this but I think I'm ready for...oh, it makes me sick to think about it...Or maybe I'm just making up excuses.
If none of this makes any sense, it's probably because I'm typing this while listening to SPICA's "Up N Down". New group. Produced by Hyori. Ooh! Girls. Eh.
I hate to admit this but I do anticipate seeing Nat like sometimes this week? Ah, so today is Valentine's Day and as expected, my co-workers brought treats in. As usual, I grabbed a bit of everything. =P I'm such a piggie. I went out and bought chocolate heart-shaped lollipops and three large bars of chocolates. I gave two lollis to Vicki and Beth. I gave two bars to Kevin and Marina G. They're the closest people at work. I wanted to give the last lolli to Nat but I never had a chance so I just gave it to my mom who gave it back to me because she doesn't eat chocolate. -.-" Vicki gave me this pink heart-shaped soap bar which I don't know if it's for the hands or body. -.-" I should've ask her. This holiday always put me in two different moods; one is uncaring and one is envy. Yeah, I can feel them at different times of the day. I'm not saying I feel both at the same time. I got my mood swings that used to be famous among my friends. Well, kind of. Shawn gave it the term "emotional roller coaster ride", which I shortened to "ERCR".
AH! I gotta go sleep!! Good night! 뿅~!
So I decided to not do a vlog for this entry. Since nothing much has been happening, I decided to just type out the entry instead. It's probably a bad idea since my nail polish is drying. =P But whatever.
To start off, I want to talk about this guy that works at one of the companies at our floor. His name is Nat (short for Nathaniel). I don't know how old he is but apparently his bday was some day this week. I met him when I just started working for MSK; it was either that week or the week after. As you know, I don't like talking to people and therefore, I don't like initiating conversations. I'm also bad at talking to strangers because my answers tend to be short and it makes it harder for the person to continue the conversation. So of course it was him who initiated the conversation and this is one thing I really hate about myself; I can't get the answers right because I'm always too nervous. -.-" So our first conversation ended rather unsatisfactory for me and the next couple of convos we've had were also rocky. But overall, he seemed to not have a bad impression of me or else he would ignore me right? However, we don't seem to bump into each other that much. I always had this slight fear of bumping into him because I'm afraid I would give stupid answers again. It wasn't that I had a crush on him or anything; my brain just don't function well around strangers. Actually, it may just not function well at all period.
Anyway, last week when I was coming into work, he and I happened to be on the same elevator and we couldn't talk much because there were other people around but when we got off the elevator, we were able to chat a bit like where I lived and where he lived, you know safe topics. After that, we just happened to bump into each other a bit. Since our conversation, I've been...hmm...how to say this? Desiring? Wanting to see him more? Anticipating our next meeting? Of all days to not bump into each other, today just happened to be that day. I mean, I saw him but just for a few seconds and they were at times that made it inconvenient to talk.
Sigh...just when I thought I got over my guy-crushing phase. I don't even know how old that guy is or if he has a gf. Actually, does any of that matter? It's not like he finds me attractive anyway. I mean, if he was born some day this week, that means he's an Aquarius. Seeing as how I've dated 2 Aquariuses in the past, I know that they are pretty social people. Actually, anyone else besides me would be social people. But that's not the point. So maybe he talked to me because he's a social person. He's just being nice and making convos. The problems that I had with Taehwan and Roger were mostly because I was a jealous *cough*bitch*cough*. =_=" So I guess it has nothing to do with him being social. It's me. But I really do hope this past year or so really have changed me for the better. I don't want to go into another relationship being insanely jealous for nothing. I'm not saying that I don't have the confidence to be a better person because I do think I am in a better place right now. But since I haven't been in a relationship since Roger, I don't know how I am when in a relationship. I don't know if I can even say this but I think I'm ready for...oh, it makes me sick to think about it...Or maybe I'm just making up excuses.
If none of this makes any sense, it's probably because I'm typing this while listening to SPICA's "Up N Down". New group. Produced by Hyori. Ooh! Girls. Eh.
I hate to admit this but I do anticipate seeing Nat like sometimes this week? Ah, so today is Valentine's Day and as expected, my co-workers brought treats in. As usual, I grabbed a bit of everything. =P I'm such a piggie. I went out and bought chocolate heart-shaped lollipops and three large bars of chocolates. I gave two lollis to Vicki and Beth. I gave two bars to Kevin and Marina G. They're the closest people at work. I wanted to give the last lolli to Nat but I never had a chance so I just gave it to my mom who gave it back to me because she doesn't eat chocolate. -.-" Vicki gave me this pink heart-shaped soap bar which I don't know if it's for the hands or body. -.-" I should've ask her. This holiday always put me in two different moods; one is uncaring and one is envy. Yeah, I can feel them at different times of the day. I'm not saying I feel both at the same time. I got my mood swings that used to be famous among my friends. Well, kind of. Shawn gave it the term "emotional roller coaster ride", which I shortened to "ERCR".
AH! I gotta go sleep!! Good night! 뿅~!
23:01
